I used to think I was smart.

Do you ever feel like you are sliding uncontrollably into the mire? And it doesn't matter what you try, you just can't stop it? And all your knowledge about gradients and soil types and friction and stuff are fucking useless cos what you really need to know is how to play a video game and what tools you should have collected along the way, yeh that's right when you were given the option of grabbing that shovel you should have taken it, but you thought it was too cumbersome and couldn't imagine how you might kill the baddie with it so you left it behind. Does that sound like I belong in this century? Well if I have fooled you it is only cos I have listened to a 9 year old and absorbed some of the banal chatter.

I want to have my own proper website. Now don't think for a minute that I actually know what that is. But I want people to be easily able to leave comments and I want to put all these posts into some sort of order - some categories You know so when I am banging on about Zig's birthday, John Howard can skip over that to my opinion on the never ending vote counting for the Queensland election - don't go looking for that, I haven't bothered. And I would like it to look better, like it was put together by someone who has a brain and a sense of the aesthetic.

Anyway I started looking about for some help.

I quickly discovered that the going rate for building a website is between 4 and 5 THOUSAND dollars.  Well that's a fair chunk of wonga and when I don't quite know what I want, it'd be like walking into Tiffany's and trying to buy a chicken and wanting to pay for it in passionfruit. Before you spend the money it'd be good to know what you want.

Then today a friend sent me some webinar links. Yeh I know it sounds like I am speaking MOD MOD. (Seminars on line for those of you older than me.) Anyway I had a look and there are all sorts of cheaper possibilities where you build your own website, but it seems still to be rather formulaic, and then there's the problem of an ongoing weekly charge for using the format. Steve is not keen on renting that bit of cyber ether and I am not sure that it would ever be possible to shift my stuff outta there, so I am not sure who would own it.

So I am stuck where I started which is slipping down that slope into oblivion cos I just do not know enough, and if I am honest, I am not sure how keen I am about going back to school to learn something. If the teacher assumed I know the jargon I would very quickly get to be silly naughty, much like a slow year 9 boy, probably carving my name into the desk and eating bits of the computer, and if the teacher went too slowly I might have to throw stuff at them like a snarky year 9 girl. I was never the easiest of students. I only got by because mostly I knew the answers or could make a good argument and in this instance I would be good for neither.

Any advice about how to get what I don't know I want, would be cool.